wedding

Maharashtra Wedding Traditions

Maharashtrian weddings are a simple affair and the emphasis is more on Sanskar. Of course there are lighter moments too, like the bride's brother twisting the groom's ear; the couple feeding each other sweets; and taking each other's names in verses etc. With changing times, an element of contemporary style has been infused into the traditional attire, jewellery, food preparations etc. And some rituals are given a go-by mainly due to lack of time and space. The couple are initiated into Grihasthashram- a vow taken by both to unite and be together all their life while pursuing dharma, artha, kama, moksha. The bride asks the groom to promise her that he will never violate her limits - maryada - the groom asks her to always remain steadfast. They lovingly agree to devotion and have progeny. Some common surnames: Kamboj, Sandhu, Gill, Bedi, Siddhu, Sodhi, Ahluwalia, Garewal, Kairon, Rarewala, Chimni, Sukhurchakia ENGAGEMENT RITUALS Engagement Normally, the engagement ceremony is conducted at the bride's place. Engagement or Sakharpuda literally means 'a packet of sugar' which is given to each other. It could be a simple affair wherein the bridegroom and his close relatives come to the bride's home. But it could also be organised by bride's side on a larger scale inviting more guests. The bride flanked by her parents and karvali i.e. bride's sister sit in a row on pat - wooden board. The bridegroom's mother applies haldi-kunku and gives a sari to the bride into which bride is supposed to change. Thereafter the bridegroom's mother does Oti Bharane and gives Sakharpuda - a cone shaped decorative parcel filled with pedhe. Giving gifts to the bride's parents and karvali is optional. This means first, bridegroom's side has to give their word to bride's side that they have fixed the alliance. Similarly, to give their consent in return, the bride's mother invites the bridegroom, his parents and karvali to sit on the pat. She applies kumkum tilak to the groom and his father and haldi-kunku to groom's mother and karvali and gives a pant and shirt piece or any clothing item as also Sakharpuda to the groom. Again gifts to all others are optional. After this ceremony, the bridegroom puts a ring on the bride's ring-finger - anamika -of the left hand. The similar process is repeated by the bride. The guests are given pedhe, some refreshments or a full meal. The engaged couple meets the guests and pays respect to elders by touching their feet. This ceremony signifies the agreement of the alliance witnessed by many people. Muhurt Karane On an auspicious day, months before the wedding day, both the sides start wedding preparation. Traditionally, it is called muhurt karane when at least five suvasini - married women are invited. With iron pestle tied with mango leaves, one by one suvasinsi pound halkund (dried kaccha haldi) in iron mortar into fine haldi powder, which is used during halad chadavane. Thereafter they roll out papads and make sandage (soaked dals grinded with spices are made into tiny balls and dried in the Sun). These days, this tradition is given a go-by. After muhurt, both the sides, especially, bride's side goes on a shopping spree. The bride's side prepares for rukhvat - an exhibition of gift articles, decorative pieces, handicrafts, eatables such as five types - each of dry fruits, fruits, ladoos, moramba, sweets etc. Actually this is to convey bride's various skills but it goes without saying that anyone can contribute to this exhibition. On an auspicious day, the first invitation is given to Lord Ganesh by visiting his temple and then to other Gods. Thereafter, invitations are given personally by parents or uncle-aunts, or any relative as per the seniority of the invitees. Typically, the ladies carry a silver kunku karanda and silver bowl with akshata -coloured rice. The inviting lady applies kunku to the lady of the house while the inviting gentleman gives invitation cards topped with akshata to the man of the house and both formally utter the invitation. The inviting couple is given some sweets or sugar to accept the invitation and the sweet news. Because of distances and want of time, the invitations could also sent out by the post or courier. Gadagner/ Kelvan The bride's close relatives and friends call over the bride and her family for a meal and give her a gift and do oti bharane. The bridegroom's side do the same to the groom. Two-three days prior to the wedding day, for gharacha gadgner, close relatives are invited for a meal at the bride's place where gharacha aher i.e. parents' and close relatives' wedding gifts are given to the bride and similar ceremony takes place at groom's side among his folks. The parents formally give expensive clothes, jewellery, silverware etc to the bride. Halad ChadavaneOn the day before the wedding day, haldi powder pounded on the muhurt is made into a paste in a plate. One by one, the five suvasini dip mango leaves - one in each hand - in plate of haldi paste and apply it first on feet, then on knees, then on shoulders and then on forehead of the bride. Each suvasini does this three times. Thereafter, the bride is given a nice massage of haldi paste depending on her consent. Since these days the brides wear make-up they do not like too much yellowness on the skin. Same ceremony takes place at the groom's side. Often, ushti halad i.e. haldi paste left over after applying it to the groom, is taken to the bride's place and is applied to the bride. The significance of haldi ceremony is that the aspiring couple is not supposed to go out and expose themselves. This may take place on the wedding day before the ritual bath. Simant Pujan Simant literally means boundary. The groom and the marriage party (barati) are welcomed at the boundary of the bride's village and her mother does puja of the groom. These days, it is done on the wedding day itself at the venue of marriage. Bride's mother washes the groom's feet by pouring a little water over his feet in a plate, does kumkum tilak, puts akshata on groom's head, does arati and gives some sweet or madhupak (mixture of honey and curd). Groom's folks are also given sweets or madhupak. The groom is made to sit in the venue and bride's father gives gifts like suit, jewellery etc to the groom. Groom's mother and ladies go to bride's quarter and give her five saris, jewellery etc. Sankalp The day before the wedding day, parents of the bride and the groom in their respective places announce the marriage that is witnessed by the priest. This ceremony may take place on the wedding day itself. WEDDING RITUALS The guest are received and welcomed with namaskar at the doorstep by some elders from both the families. A team of young maidens gives haldi-kunku, gulab-gajra (rose or thick string of tiny white flowers like mogra or jui), applies perfume from attardani on the back of the right hand, showers perfumed water from gulabdani and gives pedha. Rukhvat an exhibition of decorative pieces, gifts etc is arranged in a corner. Ganapatipujan The auspicious wedding ceremony begins with Ganpatipujan and a prayer is performed for Lord Ganesh's blessing to take the wedding through without any problems or obstruction (nirvighna). This prayer is performed at both the groom's as well as bride's quarters. Punyahvachan For purification of minds and place, priests asks groom/bride and his/her father to pray and ask for the blessings of everybody at their respective quarters. Devdevak It is also called kuldevata sthapana wherein the family deity is invoked to bless the bridal couple and the ceremony takes place at groom's as well as bride's quarters. Gaurihar Puja The bride attired in a yellow sari given by her maternal uncle and mundavalya (decorative strings of pearls, beads, flowers) tied on the forehead apart from other jewellery and facial make-up is all ready to get married. She sits on a pat in her room and in front of her, a silver idol of Parvati is placed on a heap of rice on another pat. She keeps on taking some rice with both her hands and puts atop the idol while praying the Goddess Annapurna. At this moment, the bride is not supposed to talk and instead needs to concentrate on her prayers. Lagna Muhurt Everybody present in the mandap is given akshata and everyone stands close to the mandap. The groom, dressed in dhoti-kurta or salwar-kurta, head covered with topi and mundavalya tied on the forehead, is invited to the mandap where he stands on a pat facing west and holding a thick garland. The priests hold a cloth screen called antarpat in front of the groom chanting mangalashtaka. The bride's maternal uncle escorts the bride to the mandap and she is asked to stand on the other side of the antarpat also holding similar garland. Respective karvali stands behind the bride/groom with a copper kalash containing holy water and topped with betel leaves and coconut. Another young girl stands with arati. Mostly the bridegroom's mother stands behind the bride with eksari - black beads string with big gold bead in the centre . Enthusiastic relatives, friends and guests also get chance to sing their own compositions of mangalashtaka which are typical Sanskrit or Marathi verses invoking Gods, describing the ceremony, praising the bridal couple's family members, giving advise to the bridal couple and finally giving blessing as also best wishes for the life together ahead. The Groom's mother puts across eksari around bride's neck and is supposed to tie a knot at the end of each stanza of mangalashtaka. Each stanza ends with "Kuryat Sada Mangalam, Shubh Mangal Savdhan" and everyone showering akshata on the bridal couple. At the stroke of the muhurt, the priest chants last verses of the mangalashtaka loudly removing the antarpat and among the traditional music of vajantri (consists of shehnai and choughada) and/or modern band, the excitement builds up for the zero hour. The groom first puts a garland around the bride's neck. The bride also does the same. The respective karvalis apply holy water from the kalash to the eyes of bride and groom and perform arati. Ladies are given haldi-kunku and all are given sweets mostly pedha. Kanyadan Bride's father gives the bride away to the groom. The priest asks the groom to join both the palms and receive in it stream of holy water poured by bride's mother while bride's father says that he is giving away in marriage his daughter to this gentleman so that both of them can start together a life of Dharma, Artha and Kama. The groom accepts it saying that this is giving away love for love. The one who gives love is also one who receives love. The groom tells the bride that she is the shower of love, which has been given by the Sky and received by the Earth. He asks the elders to bless them. Then the bride asks for a promise from the groom that he will never violate her limits in Dharma, Artha and Kama. The bride promises the groom that she will always belong to him like Sita-Savitri and always be by his side. The bride's parents perform Lakshmi Narayan Puja of the bridal couple considering them to be avatar of Lakshmi Narayan. The couple ties on each other's hand a halkund with a thread and this is called kankan bandhane. Akshataropan The bridal couple is asked to hold akshata in left hand and shower them with the right while expressing their desire for gunsamriddhi, dhan, dharma, santan (children), kirti etc. The priest and elders pray that all their desires be fulfilled. Mangalsutrabandhan Chanting mantras, the groom puts mangalsutra around bride's neck. Vivah Hom A stone is kept to the west of the homkund (fire) and a pot of water is kept to its northeast. To the north, four darbhas are spread on which there are two vessels. A pot of Ghee is kept nearby. The priest tells the bridal couple that having taken the oath of marriage now, the same is to be taken in the witness of the fire (agnisakshi). Then the priest asks the groom to give ahuti of ghee in the name of Skanda, Prajapati, Agni and Som. The groom prays to Agni asking to make them pure and keep their enemy away; asking for children and their long lives; asking to protect his bride and make her give good progeny whom she would see by living a long life. Lajja Hom The priest asks the bride to join palms in which the groom puts a spoonful of ghee, a fistful of lahya (puffed rice) and again a spoonful of ghee. The groom holds with both his hands the bride's joined palms and puts this ahuti in the fire chanting mantras, which means that this girl has worshipped the fire, which will never make her break loving ties with her in-laws. The groom holds the bride's right hand and goes around the fire and the pot of water chanting mantras that mean, "I am Purush, you are Prakriti. I am the Sky, you are the Earth. I am a Song, you are a Chhand (tune). With these conceptual ideas and love in mind, let us unite forever to procreate. Let us live hundred years and always have mutual understanding. The bride is asked to stand on the stone kept to the west of the fire. The groom asks her to remain steadfast like the stone. Saptapadi Having worshiped the fire, the priest asks the couple to take seven steps with the same thoughts and determination. The groom, with his right hand, holds the bride's left hand and starts taking step towards the north-east direction. First, the right foot is taken forward and then the left foot is joined with it while chanting mantras. Like this, seven steps are taken. At every two feet, small heaps of rice are kept on which they are supposed to tread. The couple asks for seven needs of life - one each at each step. These are food, strength, wealth, happiness, progeny, pleasure of enjoying various seasons and immortal friendship. The priest says that this sanskar has extremely strengthened the bond of friendship between you (the couple) and may your lives be united like two bodies with a single soul! The couple is asked to stand facing each other and touch their foreheads - literally meaning putting their heads together for decision-making henceforth. A touch of humour is added to the ceremony with the bride's brother twisting the groom's right ear to remind him of his responsibility towards his sister. Bride's mother does oti bharane and gives a sari to the bride, which she wears. The groom may also change into another comfortable pair of salwar-kurta. The couple touches the feet of elders and get blessed. POST-WEDDING RITUALS ManpanThe bride's mother does oti bharane and gives saris to the groom's mother, sisters/sister-in-laws. Bride's father gives gifts like pant-shirt piece to the groom's father and brothers/brother-in-laws. Similarly, groom's parents give gifts to the bride's family. In tond dhune, the bride's mother gives a sari and a jewellery piece like motyache tode or a gold ring or a pearl string to the groom's mother along with a tea-set etc. In vyahi bhet, bride's father gives a silver glass to the groom's father. The tond dhune and vyahi bhet are generally performed next day morning and are optional. Lunch If the Lagnamuhurt is in the morning, there is a lunch party and a reception may be held in the evening. If the Lagnamuhurt falls in the evening, then the dinner party combines with the reception. The groom's side is first invited for lunch after which other invitees follow. Bride's parents personally look after each and every guest. Also the bridal couple meets each guest during lunch and often serves sweets like bundicha ladoo or jilebi. The guest may insist that the bridal couple take each other's name in verses - nav ghene. When bridal couple, groom's parents and karvalis sit for lunch, bride's mother and other suvasinis perform arati of the couple and groom's parents and karvalis. Amidst a lot of fun and laughter, the bride feeds the groom a morsel of sweet and takes his name in verses and vice-versa. After meal there is lavangtod - another humorous ritual wherein the bride holds a clove between her teeth and the groom cuts it with his teeth. ReceptionThe bride wears shalu - jari brocaded silk sari given by the groom's side and jewellery while the groom wears suit given by the bride's side. Guests greet, bless or give good wishes to the couple along with the wedding gifts. A feast is organised for the guests. Close relatives and friends are given return gifts. The bridal couple with their families sit together for the meal and share joy and happiness of the occasion. Varat The ultimate emotional scene of the entire ceremony is when the bride is bid a goodbye. The groom picks up the silver idol of parvati that is still sitting on gaurihar. The couple touch the feet of elders and the bride meets with all family members who give her a tearful hug. The couple sits in a vehicle and the procession, with a band and fireworks, goes to the groom's place. Grihpravesh The couple comes to the doorstep and the groom's mother does arati of the couple. The bride topples map - a measuring vessel - filled with rice. It signifies that this bride - a Lakshmi - will bring so much luck that prosperity will flow in the house like the rice flowing out of the toppled vessel. A white sheet is spread in front of the couple and the bride dips her feet in a thali filled with a watery kumkum paste and places it on the sheet. These are considered Lakshmi's steps. The couple sits and the groom places the silver idol of Parvati that he carried and places it in a plate of rice and writes the bride's new name. The groom's mother does oti bharane of the bride. The groom's mother sits between the couple and sees the bride's face in the mirror - this is called soonmukh baghane. The couple gives sugar to all present and they have to take names in verses several times. Suhagrat The couple retires to a decorated room with a bed bedecked in flower, to consummate the marriage. The bride takes glass of warm milk for the groom and awaits him. The young relatives tease the groom to heighten the excitement and send him into the room. Halad Utaravane Next day morning, five suvasinis do the same as halad chadhavane but in reverse order. This is to signify that now the couple is free to go out. The groom mother unties kankan - halkund tied on the couple's hand. Tikhati MejwaniAmong non-vegetarian Maharashtrians, especially CKP community, a non-veg feast is organised at both the quarters separately for the close relatives within a day or two. Typically, the main dish is mutton-vade or mutton biryani and the liquor may be served before the food. In olden days, even women used to sip liquor from small silver bowls and was funnily called nathi vagdya karane i.e. to take aside nose rings to facilitate the sips.

                                            Punjabi wedding Tradition

 

Pre-wedding rituals

In this ceremony, the boy and the girl commit to enter a wedlock, and won't consider any more matrimonial proposals. Ardaas is done, followed by exchange of gifts.
Mangni/shagun The engagement is usually very high profile. The girls side of the family goes to the boys' side with gifts, jewellery, and other goods, to confirm the engagement.
Rokka It is an unofficial engagement ceremony where the family and friends come give present,money and blessings to the couple to be. The girl's mama ji (mother's brother) gives her the nath (nose ring) which she will wear on her wedding. The origin of this ceremony lies in the arranged marriage norm where the parents would let out the world that they are looking for a suitable match for their son or daughter. And once they had found that match, their search had come to an end. Though rings are not exchanged, the couple stand unofficially engaged after this ceremony. Looking forward to starting the wedding ceremonies.
Sagai The wedding celebrations begin with the tikka ceremony, held a week to ten days before the wedding (depending on the number of functions to follow) in which the family of the girl visits that of the boy's carrying beautifully wrapped gifts and the tikka material: a silver tray with a few grains of rice and saffron in a tiny silver bowl, 14 chuharey (dried dates) covered with silver foil and a coconut wrapped in a gold leaf. The father of the girl applies 'tikka' on his son-in-law's forehead and gives him his blessings and some money. In return, the girl's family receives baskets of seven dried fruits: almonds, cashewnuts, chuahara, coconut pieces, raisins, khurman (dried apricots) and phoolmakhana, at the kudmai (sagai or engagement). Nowadays the tikka ceremony is usually combined with the engagement. First, the girl is draped with a chunni (stole), which is usually very ornate. In some families this chunni is a family heirloom, passed down from generation to generation. She is also presented with jewellery, which her mother and sister-in-law help her wear. A tiny dot of mehendi is applied to her palm for good luck, and the function is sealed with the exchange of rings. Everyone present congratulates the couple by feeding them sweet.
Dholki/sangeet Can be one day or many days, usually high profile in a banquet hall, ladies sing traditional songs, and it is the eastern version of the western bridal shower. There is a sangeet function hosted by the girl's family, in which just a few close members of the boy's family are invited. The girl's family play the dholki (an elongated tabla) sing songs in which they tease the boy and his family. Nowadays people hire DJs and have a dance party followed by dinner. Ladies sangeet-is held for the bride and her bridesmaids.
Mehndi
The last major function before the wedding is the mehendi. Mehendiwallis are called to the respective houses of the boy and girl and they apply mehendi to the palms of the female family members, and the hands and feet of the bride. A basket containing bindis and bangles is handed around so girls can choose those that match the outfit they plan to wear to the wedding. The Mehandi ceremony takes place in the atmosphere of a party. The bride and other ladies get mehndii (henna designs) done, on their hands and feet (most ladies get it done only on their hands but the bride gets it done on both hands and feet). For the bride the mehndi is sent by the future Mother in Law, which is beautiful decorated.

Henna

Rituals at the bride’s home

Chuda
On the wedding day the rituals at the girl’s home begin with the Chuda ceremony. The oldest maternal uncle and aunt play an important role in the performance of the ceremony. Chuda is basically a set of red and cream ivory bangles that is touched by all present which is gifted by girl's Mamma (mother's Brother) the girl does not see the chuda until she is ready for the marriage. People touch the chuda and give their heartiest wishes to the girl for her future married life. Also, they sprinkle flower petals on the bride. After that, the girl’s uncle, aunt, friends and cousins tie kaliras (silver, gold or gold plated traditional ornaments) to a bangle worn by the girl.

Chuda of a Punjabi bride

Vatna/Haldi Four lamps or diyas are lit and the bride is made to sit facing them. Oil is constantly poured into the lamps, so that the glow from diyas is reflected on her face. Vatna involves applying the paste made from turmeric powder and mustard oil all over the girl’s body by her female friends and relatives. This is done to make the girl look more beautiful on the special day of our life. This ritual demands that the bride to stay at home in her old clothes for a couple of days before her wedding. Ubtan is supposed to bring glow on the bride's and groom's body especially their face. This tradition is also known as Shaint in some cultures. After this ritual, bride and groom are constrained from meeting each other until the wedding ceremony.
Ghara gharoli The decorated pitcher of water (ghadoli) is brought for the bride's bath by the groom's bhabi (brother's wife). In the Ghara Gharoli ritual, the bride’s sibling or sibling’s spouse visits the nearby temple and fills a pitcher with holy water. The girl is then bathed with this holy water. Thereafter, the bride wears their wedding attire.The ghara gharoli and the vatna ceremonies take place at the groom’s house too. But over there, the boy’s sister-in-law brings the pitcher of water. As per the tradition, their wedding dress is presented to them by their respective maternal uncles.
The Rut Jugga In this ceremony, the family dances and sings in the beautifully decorated wedding home. Rut Jugga is celebrated in the last hours of the night. They decorate copper or brass vessel called "gagger" with diyas (clay lamps) and fill them with mustard oil and light them. The bride/bridegrooms maternal aunt (mammi) carries it on her head, and another lady will have a long stick with bells, and she will be shaking it. The ladies will then go into other friends and families homes and be welcomed by sweets and drinks, they will then dance there and move on. It is a loud ceremony, filled with joy, dancing, fireworks, and food.

Rituals at the grooms’s home

Sarbala
A young nephew or cousin also dons similar attire as the groom. He is called the sarbala/shabbala (caretaker of the groom) and accompanies him.

Groom riding a horse with his sarbala.

Sehrabandi
Like the bride’s home, the Vatna and Ghara Gharoli are followed by the dressing up of groom in his wedding attire. After the groom has dressed up in his wedding clothes, a puja is performed. Thereafter, the groom’s sister ties the sehra on the groom’s head. After the completion of Sehrabandi ceremony, all those who witness the function give gifts and cash to the boy as a token of good luck.

A groom with sehra.

Varna Varna is a ceremony that is supposed to ward off the evil eye. The groom's bhabi lines his eyes with surma (kohl).
Ghodi Chadna
The Ghori Chadna is the final ceremony at the groom’s place. The groom’s sisters and cousins feed and adorn his mare. To ward off the evil eye, people use cash and perform the Varna ritual. The cash is then distributed among the poor. After this the boy climbs the horse and leaves his home for the wedding venue.

Ghodi chadna

Rituals at the marriage venue

Milni It literally means "Introductions". The Ardas is performed by the priest (Giani) followed by the formal introductions of the main male players in the families. For example both eldest Chachas (father's younger brother) will come together and exchange garlands of flowers and money. In the Milni ceremony, the girl's relatives give Shagun (a token of good luck) to the groom's close relatives. It is done in the descending order, beginning from the elder most. Cash and clothes are gifted.
Jaimala/Varmala After Milni, the bride and groom come in the middle of the circle where the family is standing, and place a heavily made garland made of flowers- varmala on each other to state, they accept each other and will love and live together with one and other. Friends and relatives of the bride and groom indulge in teasing and fun, to celebrate this happy occasion. An auspicious time or muhurat is chosen for the performance of wedding ceremony.

Hindu bride and groom.

Kanyadaan and Phere The bride's father puts a ring on the boy's finger and then he gives his daughter to the boy. This ritual is known as the Kanyadaan. It is after the kanyadaan that the pheras begin. The pheras take place in front of the sacred fire-agni. After this the groom applies Sindoor (vermilion) to the girl’s hair partition and the Mangalsutra Rasam takes place where the groom ties a beaded necklace i.e. a mangalsutra to the girl’s neck. When all these rituals are over, the couple gets up to touch the feet of all the elder members in the family and seek their blessings for a happily married life. In a Hindu Punjabi Wedding, Agni (sacred fire) is usually encircled seven times.
In a Sikh wedding, the bride and groom will walk in tow around the Guru Granth Sahib four times, called laanva.
Joota chupai It literally means 'hiding the shoes'. The bride’s sisters indulge in stealing of shoes. It is a fun tradition, in which the girls charge a fee for agreeing to return the shoes. They demand Kalecharis of gold for the bride's sisters and of silver for her cousins.
Nikah Nikah is Muslim marriage ceremony. Nikah is the contract between a bride and bridegroom and part of an Islamic marriage, a strong covenant (mithaqun Ghalithun) as expressed in Qur'an 4:21.

Post-wedding rituals

Vidaai/Doli Vidaai marks the departure of the bride from her parental house. As a custom, the bride throws phulian or puffed rice over her head. The ritual conveys her good wishes for her parents. A traditionally sad ritual, here the bride says goodbye to her parents, siblings and rest of her family. Her brothers/male cousins then lead her to her husband, who waits to take her to his family home. Her relatives throw coins in the wake of this procession. In keeping with tradition the mother in-law will often not come to the Doli and instead make preparations at home to greet the arrival of her son and new wife. The mother-in-law has a glass of water in her hand, which she circles 3 times around her bahu and then offers it to her to drink, as a symbol of her acceptance and blessing as her newest daughter.

Rituals observed at the groom's house

Reception at the boy's house
The newly weds are welcomed in a ceremony called the pani bharna. Then the bride must, with her right foot, kick the sarson ka tel (mustard oil) that is put on the sides of the entrance door before she enters the house. Then, along with her husband, she must offer puja in their room. Then they must touch the feet of the elders in a ceremony called 'matha tekna'. The rest of the evening is spent in playing enjoyable traditional games.

Alta dipped feet of the bride.

Phera Dalna The newly weds visit the bride's parents on the day after the wedding. The bride’s brother usually fetches them

Bengali marriage Tradition 

The tying of the nuptial knot in traditional Bengali style entails a series of elaborate and colorful rituals, which are not only enjoyable but are of great significance in conjugal life.

The blowing of the conch shell and ululation by the women gathered at the wedding venue are most characteristic of a Bengali marriage.Shehnai recital played by live musicians or else played over a music system adds to this symphony. The purpose is to draw the attention of all and sundry to the wedding and also to summon the invitees. It is also a kind of social declaration from the family to the rest of the society.

PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

Ashirbaad - On an auspicious day the elders of the groom's side go to bless the bride and vice versa, by sprinkling husked rice and trefoil on their heads and giving them gold ornaments. It is a kind of acceptance of the boy and the girl on both sides.

Aai Budo Bhaat - A bachelorette party for the bride before the D-day thrown by relatives or friends. It signifies their approval as well, and also encourages community feeling.

Holud Kota - A ceremony in which five or seven married women of the household grind turmeric with mortar and pestle and anoint the bride with turmeric paste. This brightens up the bride's complexion and makes her skin glow.

Dodhi Mongol - At dawn on the day of marriage seven married ladies adorn the bride's hands with the traditional bangles Shakha and Paula - one pair of red and one pair of white bangles, and feed her a meal of curd and rice, the only meal for the day.

MAIN Wedding Rituals 

Bor Jatri - The members of the groom's house as well as his friends dress in their best attire and journey to the bride's house where the wedding takes place.

Bor Boron - When the bor jatri reaches the bride's place, usually the mother of the bride along with other members come out to welcome the groom and his family by showing the holy earthen lamp, sprinkling trefoil, and husked rice placed on a bamboo winnow (kula). Then they are served sweets and drinks.

Potto Bastra - After the groom is seated at the chadnatolla (wedding altar and canopy) - thesanctum sanctorum where only the groom, bride and the priest takes their place, the groom is offered new clothes by the person who is to do the sampradaan - a kind of gift to the boy from the girl's side.

Saat Paak - The bride, usually seated on a low wooden stool called pidi is lifted by her brothers and is taken round the groom in seven complete circles. The significance is they are winded up securely to each other.

Mala Badal - After the circles are completed, still sitting high on the piri, the bride and the groom exchange garlands of fragrant flowers thrice. This is the first step in which they accept each other.

Subho Dristi - After garlanding one another the bride and the groom are made to look at each other in front of all the assembled invitees. This exchange of loving glance is to initiate them to be together officially by the society.

Sampradan - The bride then takes her place at the chadnatolla where an elderly male member of the bride's family hands her over to the groom and the couple's hands are bound by the sacred thread amidst recital of Vedic chants and are placed on the mangal ghot - a brass pitcher filled with water that is covered with mango leaves attached to one twig and a green coconut placed on it.

Yagna - The bride and groom sit in front of the sacred fire and chant mantras after the priest.Agni, the fire god is made the divine witness to the marriage.

Saat Paak - Seven circular rounds are taken by the couple around the fire thereby solemnizing the occasion.

Anjali - An offering to the fire is made. The bride's brother puts puffed rice (khoi) in the hands of the bride, and the groom standing close to her holds her hands from the back and extends their arms forward. They then pour the offering into the fire together.

Sindoor Daan and Ghomta - Once again seated at their respective places in chadnatolla the groom applies sindoor or vermilion (a symbol of marriage worn by Hindu women thereafter) on the bride's hair-parting. The bride then covers her head with a new sari offered by the groom asghomta or veil.

POST-WEDDING RITUALS

Bidaay - This is a farewell - mixed moment of joy and sorrow as the bride is bid adieu with blessings of her parents and relatives to start a new life with her beau.

Kaal Ratri - After the couple reaches the groom's house and the initial welcome ceremony is over they are separated for the night, probably to get a refreshing sleep and prepare for the next day's final wedding ceremony.

Bou Bhaat & Bodhu Boron - The girl cooks and serves all the members of her husband's family. A banquet is held to treat the guests who lavish gifts on the new bride.

Phool Shojja - The couple is adorned with flowers and are left together alone in their room to enjoy conjugal bliss on a bed laid with flowers.

The wedding ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the people involved is also used. The Hindus attach a lot of importance to marriages, the ceremonies are very colorful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home - entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof - are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons and other decorations.The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in Hindu weddings -Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a vow/promise to each other before fire. The Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, in the presence of family and friends.

The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement  and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa - the welcoming of the bride to her new home.

In India, where most Hindus live, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together.